what and why

people have asked on several occasions why we chose to have our wedding in upstate ny. the reasons are simple.

1. i love fall. its my favorite season, and i've always wanted to get married among the fall colors.
2. its apple picking season and if we wanted mr. z's family to attend, we had to take the wedding to them. they were excellent sports about working around us.

i've also had several people comment on the readings we chose for the wedding. we did stay away from some of the more traditional readings and tried to chose ones that we liked and found meaningful and unique.

so in this post i would like to share our readings and some examples of why upstate ny in october is a perfect place to get married...

from Captain Corelli's Mandolin
by Louis de Bernieres
(read by my SIL Wendy)
Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.

From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
(read by Mr. Z's SIL Kelly)

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

lyrics to Adam Sandler's "I Wanna Grow Old With You" from The Wedding Singer
(read by our good friend Jamie)

I wanna make you smile,
Whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.
I'll get you medicine,
When your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice,
Growin' old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you.
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
Who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

i'm still obsessing a bit over little details that are obviously too late to change (did we rush out of the church too fast after the ceremony? did we hurry the photos too much to get any good ones? are people thinking i'm horribly rude for not talking to everyone at the reception? crap like that) but everyone's kind comments have made me feel much better.